Are you presenting a “nice person” image of
yourself only to avoid all confrontations and yet somehow still feeling unhappy
or left out?
As a child you always wanted to be accepted,
and you learned some tricks that gave results for a while. Creating a strong
image of a Nice Person helped you to feel more accepted by your parents,
siblings, and friends. This nice person always molded to fit the group,
accepting the ruling of others without asking for the chance to include your
own needs into their agenda. Doing that, your own needs became ignored by
others and second priority to yourself, sometimes having to be suppressed
completely.
This may be what others expected from you,
providing a sense of ease, but you paid a very high price. After many years of doing the “nice person
act” you find your energy is sapped, that you feel empty, devoid of all
motivation and sense of purpose.
It is at this moment that you realize the
need to choose between pleasing others and losing yourself, or fulfilling your
own needs and claiming what you really are, what you really want.
But fulfillment of your needs is only
possible if you learn how to assert yourself effectively and grow your own
identity: Self-assertion that is too strong, or aggressive, will provoke
powerful reactions that can be stressing or even damaging to your
relationships, and being too passive or having a weak self-esteem will leave
you very vulnerable to whatever others need or want, sending you back to the
starting point.
HAVING BETTER SELF-ESTEEM:
If you gradually build self-esteem, you will:
Feel adequate, no matter the circumstances
Accept and celebrate your own merits and
accomplishments
Always feel security and a sense of direction.
Stop emotional abuse and mistreatment from
the start
Attract the happiness you dream of
Be able to confidently negotiate any
difficult issue.
Communicate your views with ease, even in
stressful situations
Establish your needs and boundaries
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