Seeing
someone new? Date intentionally. As you laugh at the same movies and share
decadent desserts, make sure you’re getting to know important details of each
other’s lives, too. Here are 10 things you need to know about the person you’re
dating and some good questions to ask
Faith and/or value
system
Compatible
values are essential in developing a healthy relationship. Discuss faith
systems, both those from childhood and any current beliefs. What does he value
most in life? Does she pray? What does happiness look like to your date? What
factors does she evaluate when trying to make tough decisions?
Family of origin
Talk
about your families. Is she close to her parents? Does he respect his brother’s
life choices? Family, both immediate and extended, play an important role in
who we’ve been and who we are. Some people aspire to having a love story like
their parents, others want to avoid their parents’ mistakes. Talking about
upbringing can reveal a lot about how your date sees the world and what he/she
believes a healthy relationship looks like
Physical expectations
If
you’re ready to have sex after date ten and your date is waiting for an “I love
you” first — or maybe even marriage — things will get awkward if these
physical-relationship expectations aren’t outlined before one of you rejects
the other. As awkward as these conversations may be, negotiate appropriate
boundaries early on. Some relationships can’t withstand differing views on
physical contact, so discuss this early and often.
Definition of
relationship
Sure,
you’re having a great time together a few times a month, but do you really know
where you stand, relationship-wise? Is one of you hoping it will turn into
marriage and kids while the other is commitment-phobic and enjoys seeing more
than one person at a time? After a few dates, sit down to discuss your thoughts
on relationships, commitment, and how you’d define where you currently are —
and where you might be headed.
