How to Marry the Wrong Person

With the divorce rate over 50%, too many are apparently making a serious mistake in deciding whom to spend the rest of their life with. To avoid becoming a "statistic," try to internalize 10 insights.

You pick the wrong person because you expect him/her to change after you're married. The classic mistake! NEVER MARRY POTENTIAL!! The Golden Rule is, if you can't be happy with the person the way he or she is now, don't get married. As a colleague of mine so wisely put it, "You actually can expect people to change after their married...for the worst!" So when it comes to the other person's spirituality, character, personal hygiene, communication skills, and personal habits, make sure you can live with these as they are now.

You pick the wrong person because you focus more on chemistry than on character. Chemistry ignites the fire, but good character keeps it burning. Beware of the "I'm in love" syndrome. "I'm in love" often means, "I'm in lust." Attraction is there, but have you carefully checked out this person's character? Here are four characteristics to definitely check for:

Humility: Does this person believe that "doing the right thing" is more important than personal comfort?

Kindness: Does this person enjoy giving pleasure to other people? How does s/he treat people s/he doesn't have to be nice to? Does s/he do volunteer work? Give to charity?

Responsibility: Can I depend on this person to do what s/he says s/he's going to do?

Happiness: Does this person like her/himself? Does s/he enjoy life? Is s/he emotionally stable? Ask yourself: Do I want to be more like this person? Do I want to have a child with this person? Would I like my child to turn out like him or her?

Dating

Dating relationships can be a fun and exciting part of your life. They can also be confusing, especially if dating is new to you. Once you know that the person that you like also likes you, you may not know what to do next. You can start by learning about what makes a dating relationship healthy and safe.

WHEN DO TEENS START DATING?

There is no best age for teens to start dating. Every person will be ready for a dating relationship at a different time. Different families may have their own rules about dating, too. When you decide to start a dating relationship, it should be because you care about someone and not because other people are dating. A dating relationship is a special chance to get to know someone, and it should happen only when you are really ready and your parents/guardians are okay with it.

WHAT IS A HEALTHY DATING RELATIONSHIP?

Healthy dating relationships should start with the same things that healthy friendships start with: good communication, honesty, and respect. Dating relationships are a little different because they may include physical ways of showing you care, like hugging, kissing, or holding hands. You may find yourself wanting to spend all of your time with your crush, but it is important to spend some time apart, too. This will let you have a healthy relationship with your crush and with your friends and family at the same time.

Desperate Relationship

In the dating world, a desperate man is one who is over-eager, anxious, presumptuous and willing to be with any woman to avoid being alone. Women can spot desperation in a man from miles away, and if you suffer from it, you’ll never stand a chance at getting any girl. A man who is desperate may have a strong want and desire to have a relationship; however, his behaviors can indicate low-self esteem and a host of other issues that turn women off and can actually be viewed as creepy and disturbing.

Here are 10 warning signs that can help you determine if you fit under the portrait of a desperate man:

1. Dropping your standards: Desperate men are prepared to drop their dating standards to fill the huge emotional void in their life. Whether they want children or intimacy the desperate man will date who they have too to avoid being alone. They will be with any woman just for the sake of being attached while failing to realize that it’s better to be single and wait for the girl who is their type.

2. Constantly fishing for compliments: The desperate man has low self-esteem, a poor self-image and needs to constantly hear how great he is and be assured of things. It doesn’t take long for women to get tired of constantly stroking your ego.

3. Overly Calling/Emailing/Texting Her: If you want to run a woman off quickly, one of the best ways to do it is to overly call, email or send text messages early in a relationship, especially when she hasn’t returned any of your messages. The desperate man makes the fatal mistake of calling the woman he’s dating and asking “Did you just call me?” after receiving a call from an unrecognized number.

4. You’re always available: Always being available makes women think that you don’t have a life of your own and actually lessens your own attractiveness, making you far less desirable. Being a challenge to women makes you more desirable.

How To Cope with Unrequited Love (1)

Sometimes the person you're in love with doesn't love you back. Believe it or not, it happens to almost everybody. In any case, unrequited love is painful: It can even feel like torture. Find out how to make the best of it with these tips.

Limit the amount of time you spend with the person who doesn't love you. If you can, don't see them for a while.

Come to terms with the fact that they don't share your romantic feelings. You need to accept that it's just not meant to be so you can move on with your life.

Try writing a mantra such as "It's time to move on" on a slip of paper and placing it somewhere you can easily see it. Every time you see this slip, recite the words in your mind. This will help reinforce your commitment to getting on with the rest of your life.

How can I tell I’m in Love?

It is a very common question, "How can I tell I'm in love?", but it is not an easy question to answer. What feels like love to one person may be nothing more than attraction to another. Some people fall in and out of love quickly and often while others are never really in love as much as they are in lust. This can get confusing when you are a teen because romantic love is a relatively new concept for you and you don't know what to expect. You are overwhelmed with all sorts of new feelings and social pressures. They are confusing. What is love? What makes you want a romantic relationship with one person and not another? How does your heart choose a partner? Why does love end? These questions can't be easily answered.

There is no easy way to find the truth behind your feelings or the feelings of another person but there are some tell-tale signs that love is blooming (or growing deeper). If this signs below are applicable to you, Buddy! You are probably in love.

You're scared to death...

of losing her, of keeping her, of never being with another woman... the list goes on and on. Are you ready for all this? What if it crashes and burns like your last relationship? Wait, how did you let this happen again? Yet deep down, you know you’re going for it anyway.

Anger Management

Everybody gets mad at one time or another! Hey, even God gets mad. Let’s face it! Anger is a normal human emotion and it is the way that your subconscious mind releases mental and emotional pressure but sometimes this normal psychological function can run amok and lead you astray. Getting angry is normal, letting anger get the best of you is not. So how do you know if your anger is getting out of control and what can you do about it if you’re raging? Surprisingly enough recognizing and managing anger is relatively easy,

Your anger is out of control if…

You find yourself getting angry at everything that inconveniences you, annoys you or otherwise gets in the way of what you want to be doing,

It leads you to act out aggressively or violently as in yelling, ranting, hitting, shoving or plotting revenge,

It consumes you long after the event has passed, if you dwell on the things that make you angry then you’re in trouble because normal anger is only a temporary emotional response to unsettling eternal stimuli,

How To Know If Someone Likes You (1)

Other people can be really confusing, especially when it comes to crushes and dating. He may IM you constantly but never ask you on a date. S/he might stare at you throughout English class then ignore you during break-time. Maybe you've got a sneaking suspicion that your best friend has the hots for you. How can you tell for sure if he or she likes you? Here are a few signs that he or she is probably into you.

Your Gut Says "Yes!"

This may be a frustrating piece of advice for people who are still learning how to recognize and trust their intuition especially teens. However, if you have a feeling that someone's falling for you -- even if you can't put your finger on why -- it's probably true. With time you'll learn how to recognize this feeling better, so don't sweat it.

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They Can't Take Their Eyes Off You

Like a moth to a flame, s/he won't be able to avoid staring at you. S/he may look into your eyes for a long time, or s/he might glance at you compulsively then look away, but one way or another, his gaze is constantly headed in your direction. This is one example of body language -- a great clue about whether someone likes you.